Even More Advice for Konnie Lukes

posted by Mike on February 1st, 2007

Nat Needle at the Sahara After reading the umpteenth article in the local paper giving advice to our new mayor, Konstantina B. Lukes, Nat picked up his ukulele, walked into a City Council meeting, and performed “Even More Advice for Konnie Lukes.”

Kevin Ksen taped most of it.

Then last week, Worcester Indymedia taped Nat performing the song at the Sahara on Highland St. We put the clip in our latest news video, but you can also watch just the song.

Video: mp4 (13MB) and other formats
Audio: mp3 and other formats

Even More Advice for Konnie Lukes

By Nathaniel Needle (copyright 2007)

I think it’s peachy-keen that Konstantina B. Lukes
Gonna occupy the mayor’s chair
Since Murray had to hurry, hurry off to climb that Statehouse stair
Konnie’s promised a political takeover
That’ll keep us a Creative City
But when she ruled out any personal makeover
Well, I thought I’d better write this ditty,

CHORUS

Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
You gonna catch more flies with honey than with nukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes

Won’t you be more clubby, more shoulder-rubby, a kinda Konnie-sensus-builder?
I’m so unsure, so insecure ‘round brash blond battle-maidens like Brunhilde
Won’t you see what the boys in the back room will have
And go along to get along?
Just a few more chuckles, without the brass knuckles
Will have’ em all singin’ your song! (so I’m beggin’)

Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
Why let them mention your ascension as one o’ them flukes?
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes

Now poor Paul Clancy, he’s gettin’ sorta antsy, and Phil Palmieri thinks you’re scary
Jumpy Joe Petty is already unsteady, as for Mike Perrotto, every night he gets blotto
Even sunny Katie Toomey, is lookin’ slightly gloomy,
And Smilin’ Irish Dennis, seems haunted by a menace
Mighty Mike O’Brien, he’s in his office cryin’
And young Joff Smith thinks you the Lord of the Sith
Even good ol’ Barbara, who would never ever harbor a
Grudge or budge from your side,
Says to deliver the goods to our neighborhoods
You oughta try some tricks you haven’t tried (so why don’t you)

Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
When Rick Rushton wakes up in the middle of the night, he pukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes

Just lean back in your mayoral chair and thoughtfully close your eyes
Purse your lips, fold your fingertips, and act benevolent and wise
You know it’s time to lean on someone else to be mean enough to lead that fiscal fight
If Gary Rosen, is the one you’ve chosen, you just have to teach him how to bite
(He can do it, so…)

Please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes
If Dave Rushford muffs your name don’t shame him with rebukes
I like my Worcester mayors, to be comforting as prayers
And never to be cool as cukes
So please put down your dukes,
Take advice from bald guys playin’ ukes,
And please put down your dukes, Konnie Lukes!

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